Episode 107: Token Running-Related Post II

This post is in a similar vein to my previous token running related post, in the following ways:

i) adverse weather conditions
ii) failure to return to starting location of run
iii) awkward social interactions required to deal with ii)

The irony of the fact that I spent the better part of the afternoon in question perusing socially awkward penguin images is not lost on me. It's nice to know that other people are as depressing as you are, even if they are anonymous forum users.

Anyways.

Turns out that in the course of a 23 minute warm-up, one travels a fair distance. Ok, actually, you don't, but when you decide to bail on a workout due to the fact that you are lamer than well... usual, it seems pretty far. I rationalize that I can easily walk 10 min ks, so at most it'll take 46 minutes to get back to where I started.

The trouble is, it's pretty chilly out, and I am not wearing much clothing. This is so unlike me! [sarcasm].

While contemplating death by exposure on a suburban sidewalk was fun for a couple seconds, I realized that it wasn't an option, since I have some pretty funny life goals. I quickly narrowed my options down to the following:

i) Taxi... so good that I carry cash while I'm running! Even if I did, I wouldn't have done it because I am a cheapskate. That, and last time I rode in a taxi solo, the driver kept telling me stories about her bf's "cute Jamaican ass".
ii) Hitchhike.... kind of sketchy... I mean... the world is full of weirdos! I know, because I am one of them.
iii) Locate route with maximum retail stores, take breaks to build up courage (and body heat) every 500m.

FML. None of these options are all that sweet.

Then I have an epiphany. I am not in Kansas anymore! Hail the city bus! I am saved!

Now here's the socially awkward part: I do not know where the nearest bus stop is, nor when a bus will come, or if it will even be the correct one. Oh yeah... and I don't have my bus pass with me.

Luckily (luck is on my side about 4% of the time) I manage to find a bus stop that has people waiting at it. I join them. It's kind of awkward because I'm dying, and dressed a little strangely.

Luckily (I'm probably SOL for the rest of my life now, having used my luck quotient for the next decade) the bus that arrives is one that will take me back to my winter coat and more importantly, my keys.

So now all I have to do is convince the bus driver that he should let me on his bus. I don't feel like I need to tell you why this was awkward and funny, but I will anyways to emphasize:

"Uh... so I don't have my bus pass... I was running... now I'm kind of crippled [points vaguely at leg] and can't walk... please let me on? I SWEAR I HAVE A BUS PASS!"
"Whatever. Don't let it happen again."
[Again? Yeah, next time I plan on being crippled in the middle of a winter run, I'll bring my bus pass...]

As you can see, I am not so eloquent IRL.

So I got on the bus.

Good thing, too. My back-up plan (epic meltdown) would have been even more awkward, and also pretty difficult. Seriously, it's hard to bawl when your eyeballs are frozen. Try it some time.

So that's kind of where the story ends. I didn't die, not even of shame.

Oh, and then I watched Polar Express (with a friend*). On a Friday night.

*I am attempting to make myself seem less pathetic. So futile.