Episode 124: Stranger danger!

"I'm not quite sure what to make of that... or you."

This is how my Thursday night ended. I think I'm getting ahead of myself.

Some people collect stamps. I talk to strangers on the internet, amongst other things. If I were going to get technical about it, I'd classify most of my endeavours under the name of "social experimentation". No, like fo realzies and all. However, I prefer to call a spade a spade, so I tell people that my hobby is "trollin' randoms on da intranetz."

Uh.. so.. what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Talking to strangers.

There are various situations in which one can converse with strangers. I have taken the liberty of making up terms to describe situations, in the case that like Kurt Vonnegut, I am awarded a PhD in social science based a humourous novel that I have written (which I will likely never get around to writing).

1) Double stranger, double blind - neither party knows the other, neither party can see the other. Occurs mainly on the internet, in chatrooms and the like. Could also occur on the phone or in prison if you use a spoon to dig a slot large enough to pass letters to the person in the cell beside you. This type has the greatest scope for amusement if you can avoid being absurd to the point where the conversation becomes nonsense.

2) Double stranger - you guys don't know each other, but you can see each other. Usually occurs IRL or on chatroulette. If IRL this isn't usually as funny unless you meet another crazy person or you are both very drunk.

3) One-way stranger - Kind of like a one way mirror...you know the other person, they don't know you... creepy. I don't feel the need to go in depth on how this happens... isn't that what this blog is about? At any rate, for those daring enough, this type of conversation is usually hilarious, and I seriously recommend it.

4) Pepperspray - some stranger starts talking to you and offers you ice cream and you're all "STRANGER DANGER" and then you go home and cry and sleep with a knife under your pillow. This one is not very fun.

So on Thursday night, I decided to embark on a little category 1, aka trolling Likealittle chat. Initially it was a little boring. In fact, when some fellow asked if I was "DTF" I told him that he should think of a more interesting question to ask me, such as my opinion on porcupines as travel companions. Sadly this individual was unable to handle my crazy and left.

So then I did what any normal individual would do... switch to another campus. I actually did this several times, which is almost as funny as it is sad. As is clear by my leading sentence, I did eventually find someone interesting to talk to. For some reason I sent him here (if you're reading this, extra lawl) and found out he was also a runner and knew one of my "associates" (Speedgoggles doesn't have friends, obvi), which was, in the words of the aforementioned Vonnegut, an example of "busy busy busy".

Eventually though, I had to drop the bomb. And by that, mention casually that the only time I'd set foot in his current locale was to purchase a souvlaki sub from Mr. Sub. It was an excellent sub btw, totes recommend it. The response was as noted. This revelation, unfortunately, led the individual in question to be able to figure my true identity***.

Trust that I'll be sleeping with a knife under my pillow now.


***no really, tnf lurkers, it's not that hard...

Episode 123: Goggles

That's a lot of goggles. ~6 eyes for the day, I believe.

PS, dear guy who googled "legit swim goggles" and came here, I sorry lulz.

Episode 122: Nostalgia

Watching this made me want to take my camcorder out of retirement and record a Speedgoggles-specific version of this video. The main difference would be that there would be more internets and the vomiting would be replaced by "sick" beats.

Also, I think today marks the 1 year anniversary of Speedgoggle's existence, as it were. What was I doing during that ~1-2 month period before I started bothering people like you?

Reeeeeeeeeeeesearrrrrrrrch.

Obviously.

Episode 121: Ringo Starr

Justification for lack of posts in during forthcoming period of time:




Thomas the Tank Engine was always my favourite show because my mother liked the Beatles.

Oh, and if you're a Lancer, I probably signed your shirt.

Episode 120: Bitches be crazy/Serendipity

I believe the DSMMD is in the habit of employing more politically correct/scientific terms, but I am rarely in the habit of being either so I'm fairly unconcerned.

That being said, you should probably be a little concerned*.

Speedgoggles' favourite serendipitous internet finds, week of March 6 2010: Concise edition

this.

Watch out, Sherbrooke.

*despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary I am actually a relatively stable person. Swears!

Edit: Brockville should watch out too. Srsly.