Without further ado or apology (for very much intended puns), here it is:
Spectator of the Year
Sometimes winning is just showing up. And when showing up is flying half-way to actual #YOLOndon, only to indecently expose yourself in the name of party attendance, well then, I don't know what else winning could be. So, to Jeff Mountjoy, 2013 Spectator of the Year, and his kilt in the gael force winds, facepaint and tricolour flag go the 2014 honours. The question remains: can in Guelph for the 2015 champs Mountjoy achieve the Spectator three-peat?
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| A brave outfit with heart. (credit: Nicolas Morin) |
However, often victory is not without support. It is in this spirit that I award the runner-up status to fellow Gaels alumnus Tyson Loney for his efforts. Didn't really have a mustache, but like, he painted one on so I guess that counts for something. I mean, what's more "college" than flying 2000+ km for a party? Definitely not driving 8 hours for a party, which is my current PB.
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| ~*~*~tEaM sPiRiT~*~*~(credit: Nicolas Morin) |
Bowling for Soup Award
I'll admit that my judgmentation of the mustache mediocrity was somewhat mired by flying detritus and live commenting excitation. There were however, a few pencil-thin "not sure if I've hit puberty yet" mustaches on the course that caught my attention.
Maybe it was the splits-seams in the hefty breeze, majestically blown dreads or the sizeable early lead that caught my attention, but the winner of this award is none other than TWU's Declan White. Fortune may favour the bold, but sometimes misfortune favours the bold moreso. Lawd knows I know that. Don't let the h8erz get you or your 'stache down, Declan.
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| I, uh, guess there's something there. (credit: Dustin Silvey) |
Rookie of the Year
I'd practically started to believe that this here blog had started to have a verifiable social impact on the CIS cross-country world (my only real dream these days), and then the rookie class of 2018 goes and lets me down, hard. Do you have any idea how deep I had to go to find a rook who even kind of had a 'stache? It was a terrible, terrible shame.
Luckily la Belle Province didn't let me down et m'ont fourni avec a rook with stiff upper lip. So congrats to Gabriel Legaut of Laval, for restoring my faith in the young people. Vive la France (country of my dreams), etc.
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| I get older but rookies stay the saaame age. (credit: Athlétisme Rouge et Or) |
Most Improved
Ah, the Most Improved category. My favourite. It's where I get to give men hope, only to let them down. My specialty. I must say however, this year's winner impressed me; maybe it was the JFM, the sub-4 or maybe the tradition of his countrymen rubbing off, but Chuck P-T of Laval finally got to pull off that blonde 'stache (a difficult look) in his final year. Moving up from the "Bowling for Soup Award" in 2013 is an impressive feat, potentially only eclipsed by his alleged AP Snapchat game (maybe one day I'll be cool enough to be a recipient).
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| Zoom no longer required. (credit: Nicolas Morin) |
Honourable mention in this category goes to Christian Gravel of Guelph, who also dared to defy his facial hair phenotype. Pure guts, glory.
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| This photo exemplifies why I find running such a sexy sport. (credit: Nicolas Morin) |
Beardo Award
Though admittedly not really about the beard, I feel the time has come for a separate award, for those who dare the lumberjack/hipster/hobo style. This year's inaugural Beardo Award goes to Paul Janikowski of Windsor (previous Individual Award 'stache runner-up) for his impeccably groomed face fuzz.
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| Fierce, fearsome. Beard. (credit: Nicolas Morin) |
But there was someone else. There often is. The mystery of the "other." The West. Though perhaps not as prolific as Jani's beard, Matt Johnson of Regina deserves a shout-out. 'Cause I did indeed shout out (and let it all out).
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| Sick gloves braj. (credit: Nicolas Morin) |
Flowtastic Mun Award
I'll be straight with y'all. I'm definitely about the flow. In honour of the host university (MUN, duh), I have decided to implement a fitting wildcard award: one for the best CIS mun. I mean, it was a practical wind machine out there, I'm not sure how I even contained myself.
Though the comp here was close, I'm going to have to give the edge to Andrew Gordini "the Love Genie" of Guelph, who sported both the mun and the 'stache. His assault was further strengthened by his claims that he had not washed his locks in several decades.
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| Just lovely. (credit: Guelph Gryphons T&F) |
On the flip, baby smooth side, however, we have runner-up Dominique Aulagnon of Lakehead. When first I noticed that mun appear at the OUA championships, I was smitten. But I was looking for something more, and it was not quite enough. Next year, perhaps.
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| Beauty, grace. Mun. (credit: Alex Green) |
Community Service Award
Giving back to one's community is important, which is why I continue to do this here report year after year (or so I've managed to convince myself). But there are many ways to give back, and I believe that the promotion of dubious personal grooming is one of those modalities. I mean, who knows if you'll inspire some poor young man to step outside the rigidity of the standards of male beauty, making the world a weirder, more questionable place, where rat-tails, mullets and obscure dye-jobs are celebrated? One can only dream of such a utopia (and by one, I mean me, because I am the only one who dreams of that).
Er, anyways... when first I saw the eventual recipient, I wasn't sure what to do, such was my level of impressedness. The ensemble was flawless - a half-head of "I just went on a Jamaican cruise" beaded cornrows, a wispy mustache and beautifully coiffed flow to frame it all. Cody Therrien of UVic had it all. Even the sweatband.
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| Nip? Me lurking in bushes, showing my appreciation in clever disguise? This photo has it all.(credit Nicolas Morin) |
Though I much appreciated the whimsy of Therrien's efforts, I feel that other, grittier efforts too deserve recognition. Sporting the ever-classic (with me at least) "just did a long haul with my rig, if you know what I mean" quasi-mullet/'stache combo, I award runner-up honours to Jordan Collison of Windsor, at whom I once threw an apple core after a failed mid-race proposal attempt. Oh, the formative years.
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| No acceptable race photo could be located, but my brain says it was something like this. (credit: Jordan Collison) |
Team Title
Now we gettin' into the heavies. This year's team competition was difficult assess, presumably due to the spreading of my gospel (worrisome indeed), though my state during critical observation hours might have been a factor as well. In my defense, I bring forth the words of celebrated lyricist Calvin Harris: "don't blame it on me, blame it on the night."
On the team front, it would appear that the Laval hair dynasty has started to wane, and that new powers have started to rise: the West. Assisted by a slew of award-worthy candidates and a number of solid mid-range performers, this year's team title goes to UVic, who boasted an impressive 7/8 'stache participation, with only rookie Weir bare up-top. Simplicity was the name of the game here, and the Vikes pulled it off impeccably, taking full advantage of that left coast hip style to which I am not-so-secretly partial.
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| So hip, so hype. (credit: Brent Fougner) |
Additional impressive facial hair coherency on the western front was also demonstrated by Regina. Headlined by the one-two punch of Johnson and Strueby, this team also impressed (but maybe that's my cougar aspirations coming through).
[No picture, because apparently the Cougars were camera-shy this weekend]
On the other side of the universe, strong showings were also made by Windsor and St. FX. Nothing super special here, but respectable efforts nonetheless.
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| Decent I suppose. (credit: Cal DeWolfe's mom or something) |
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| (credit: Matt Travaglini) |
Individual Title
Understated was the name of the game this year, with no flashy dye-jobs or haircuts taking my centre-stage this time 'round. I mean, you can't expect to obtain the same results year after year without trying something different (is this like, an Albert Einstein quote?). Well, at any rate, originality and spunk is key with me, no re-do's allowed.
Setting the stage, in the runner-up category, we have a few familiar faces, and a few new ones. Perennial contender, Olivier "Three Muskateers" Collin of the Vikes impressed (aided slightly this year by his lack of backwards cap shenanigans), as did Matt McNeil of Dal with his filthy handlebar display. Actual CIS champion Proudfoot of Guelph just missed out on the real prize, this year finally shying away from the dreaded Chad Kroeger (the style says thank you - for let[ting] me go).
Nice work boiz. (credit: Nicolas Morin)
This year, once again, the big shebang goes out to the low-stick leader of the team champ - none other than Jackson Bocksnick of UVic. Though perhaps lacking the hype of some of the previous champs (or maybe it's just that I'm not hip enough for his insta), Bocksnick's 'stache managed to shine through the wind, hail and rain and whatever else St. John's decided to throw at him (a defrosting cod that had been around the block a few times too many). I personally had the honour of dissecting this beautiful specimen, and can officially report that its tips were waxed flawlessly as of ~12 AM NDT. That's dedication to the craft, that.
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| And it was even his birthday?!!!? omg (credit: Dustin Silvey) |
Well folks, that's it for this most wonderful time of the year. If you need me, I'll be crying in a corner somewhere vaguely exclaiming "It's going down, I'm yelling Tinder!" in a futile attempt to regain meaning in my life.
Until we meet again, xoxo (so like, probably nevar)
SG
