Episode 56: Succexy?

These individuals are clearly mistaken, but I am flattered in any case.

Episode 55: Dog ate my homework

Untrue story. Excuses, excuses...

Time for a story:

Last year a squirrel frolicked free - like the wind, or an empty, discarded Blizzard cup (I see them a lot when I run for some reason, and they make me sad, hungry and sick all at once). A nasty, irresponsible hooligan (the sort who would probably make reference to Forest Gump when you pass by in your shortest of shorts) rolled freely along an arbitrary strip of tarmac.

As it happens (or did happen) the arbitrary path of the frolicking squirrel becomes entwined in the arbitrary strip of tarmac, at the precise moment when the irresponsible hooligan rolls past.

The squirrel does not win. It dies. And so it goes.

Some time later, Speedgoggles ran by and saw the squirrel. Speedgoggles did nothing.

The next day Speedgoggles ran by and the saw the squirrel. Something had eaten its eyes and flies were swarming.

And so on. It was a bit like watching one of those youtube videos were some loser** takes a picture of themselves every day and you can watch them age in real time. Except this was not in real time, so I guess it wasn't really like that at all.

This continues for the entire cross-country season, until the squirrel doesn't look very much like a squirrel. Actually, it was more of a stain on the road with a bit of matted fur stuck to it. But I knew what it was and that was all that mattered.

For an entire cross-country season I felt a deep spiritual connection to roadkill.

I told someone about this. Their response?

"Ew... that is SOOOO gross."

The end. No moral or inspirational afterthoughts.

**probably still cooler than me though.

Episode 54: Outsourced, again.

Episode 53: Your number one fan, please.

That is me, on the left in my 'Amanda' days, in case you were wondering.

Episode 52: An all-new low

We're all guilty; Speedgoggles only more so.

Episode 51: Pseudo-science is sexy, also.

Discussion:

This graph represents only the average amount of harassment received. Individual statistics may be skewed depending on the age/attractiveness of the individual (if female), the degree of splitting of the shorts (if male) and the tightness of the spandex (both genders). Presence of aggravating accessories such as compression socks, sunglasses, bright colours and speed are known to also contribute to the situation.

Episode 50: Meta, for what?

This is a fly. It is on a wall.

Episode 49: Facelurk, second instalment

Truer words could not be pronounced, Brandon.

Episode 48: Facelurk

This subtracts. Infinitely.

Episode 47: Once you see it...

...you can't unsee it. My apologies to all involved, particularly to the original owner of this photo, whoever that might be.

PS. Wore a carpentry face mask while cleaning my room, which I credit for my survival.

Episode 46: Speedgoggles are disappoint...

... in the following types of wall posts:

1) birthday wishes
2) farmville-type app shit
3) race congratulations
4) silly bitches who do not run being impressed
5) privacy settings

They clog things up. 'New' facebook is stupid too. No sticky back button. Real pain in the ass. A cartoon may follow later today if I do not die cleaning my room (a distinct possibility).