I know.
It all started this morning, with a deeply shameful act. I DNFed my weekly long run. Bailed. Got a ride home.
But before you get on your high horse and begin to judge Speedgoggles' running ethic, let's rewind...
In my excitement about the nice weather this morning, I decided it would be a good idea to make a trek over to this conservation area on the other side of town, to frolic amongst the trees, streams and logs. It is at this point that I should mention that there are only 3 ways to get into the park - one is legal, and the other two are holes cut into the chain link fence. As it happens, the two sketchier entry routes are closer to my house, and on opposite sides of a river. The legal entrance is considerably further away.
But back to the story - so I'm hopping logs, rock cuts and streams, making my way around the conservation park. As the time on my stopwatch approaches 52 minutes, I am pleased to find myself near one of the conveniently placed fence gaps, so that I can begin the 25 minute journey home.
Then - disaster strikes.
As I approach said gap, I find that it is well, as they say... no longer a gap. Turns out that the rest of the trail is closed due to construction. Dick move.
It occurs to me now that I could have just climbed over the fence, but sometimes when you've been running for 52 minutes your brain doesn't function properly. Also, I'm none too adept at climbing things, despite the implications of the "core workout" cartoon. At the time, it seemed like a good idea to run around to the next closest park exit, which was, as it turned out, not as close as it seemed in a car.
So I back tracked it back to the legal, gated entrance. The park warden stared.
I started running back towards my house on the highway. Good thing I forgot to put on sunblock.
I look at my watch again. 70 minutes. I am at least 25 minutes away from my house now. I begin to weigh my options. I eventually came to the conclusion that though I could easily make it home, since I wasn't really that tired anyways, it would probably be for the best to stop at 75 minutes and bail, since a 95 minute + run would probably not make my legs feel so fresh for the series of races I'm supposed to be doing over the next couple days.
My shorts were also beginning to chafe.
So I did what any reasonable person would do, and screened the area for an unsketchy place for me to call home. I selected an elementary school. Unfortunately, this was the very elementary school I once attended, so I ran into some teachers who knew me on the way to the office and had to explain my predicament.
I finally got to call home. I refused to consider that my parents might not even be home (last time that happened, I got locked out of the house and had to run an extra 3 km to get to the grocery store to snag some keys). Fortunately, this was no the case, and a few minutes later I found myself in the front seat of my dad's car.
He said I was a moron an should have climbed the fence.
That is all. Now I'm really off to become a buddhist monk.
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