Car creeping: usually limited to bored 10 year olds on school buses/stuck in holiday traffic. I do not believe it should be so. Here are some of my car creeping experiences:1) Met my soulmate. If you know a man from Dayton, OH who drives a green Subaru Forrester and has a penchant for mullets and aviators and using his feet to steer, please direct him here. I'm still quite upset that I didn't manage to communicate my phone number to him.
2) Offered a french man M&Ms in Montreal. Unsure if he was confused about the language or the offer, or both.
So how does one car creep?
1) Be in a car, preferably in slow-moving highway traffic or at a long red light. Safety is important or something; you don't want to cause a 50 car pile-up.
2) Locate the victim. Usually a car with interesting looking passengers in it. Avoid vehicles that look as if they have firearms in them. This includes cop cars. Cops do not like being car-creeped, and you do not like being arrested (I assume).
3)Do as described in the cartoon. The poker face is especially important. If you fail at that, you fail at everything.
4) Usual response:
i) stage one: denial. People will pretend this is not happening in hopes that you will stop. If you do, they win. Sometimes people genuinely do not notice. Then you super lose, and need to try harder.
ii) stage two: disgust/amusement. Depending on the personality of the victim, they may make rude gestures or fall into fits of hysteria. Either way, pretty funny.
iii) stage three: mimicry. Assuming traffic conditions play out in the favour of a long-lasting encounter, the persons in the other vehicle may mimic your silly behaviour. This means you have won.
So there you have it, I suppose.
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